Hidden Garden

I see my pride coming forth in wanting others to notice my spirituality or in comparing my level of spirituality to others (God, I hate to even admit that!). Forgive my pride in wanting to be accepted because i am so spiritual or have the correct perspective on things.  I don't want to live out of  this part of my false self. I want to be authentic with You about my doubts and disappointments. Pride show up in me as self-righteousness and hiding my real struggles from myself, God and others. Help me to be totally real with myself first and foremost and with You so I can be real with others.

Clouds can be a protection, from the intense burning rays of the sun that can make me hot or burn and blister my skin. Sometimes My mystery, your lack of understanding is how I protect your heart from further hurt. Faith is not certainty, but uncertainty and yet belief, not because you know the answers but because you know the One who does and thus you don't have to.  It is walking into the unknown with Me and trusting that you don't have to know because I do.

Practice Being Known
It's all about THE VIEW, isn't it? Yours....or Mine? Which will you choose? Will you give up yours so you can find Mine? Sometimes its as big as those huge red sandstone monoliths you see here in Colorado...other times it is My "hidden garden" like the one you see before you here at Glen Eyrie that you must search out to be with Me.

You are as a hidden garden, Eden, My Beauty....but I am asking you , inviting you to hide your beauty so that you may be all and do all only for the eyes of your Beloved, the One who longs for your entire desire and heart. Humility is your way home, so hiding your truthful insights from others behind My cloud of unknowing is one way to do that. I know you more than you know yourself...how often in a new group, you make yourself known and think it is about authenticity when really it is your false self yearning for acceptance and esteem when really you are just hiding your shame, your fear of unacceptability. But I love you just the same...love you so that your true self can shine forth to Me.

Lord, what does that look like? What are You inviting me into?

Like the short, spindly, dense, barren batch of trees in front of you, the deadness in you (false self, no life here) is twisted and vined, no life just barrenness, blocks your view of truth, you, Me.

I want to let that go...show me how...

By resting in me, being open to My gaze, letting go of the last vestiges of having to help, achieve, give the wise insight...silence, secrecy, valuing others above your self and finding your true worth in Me alone.
By being real with yourself about the negative and not just the positive. Don't rationalize or try to figure Me out - live My mystery in peace and in My Presence. Just BE. You are loved. You matter. You have so much to give the world and the hearts in it.

My response is by the grace of God, I am what I am.... I Cor. 15:10  I want to live fully into this. I am powerless to do so without You. I surrender my mental process, my desire for love, acceptance, value, affirmation and esteem outside of You. Purge out of me any dross that keeps me from wholeheartedly reflecting a pure image of You, God. Strip away my false self, help me die to my false self, create in me a clean heart O God. Renew my spirit with Your own!

"We must accept ourselves just as we are, if the Holy Spirit is to change us for the better."  Interior Freedom

written at LTML Facilitators Gathering April 8, 2013