Crossing the Threshold: New Year, New Beginning

Every year i ask God for a word or phrase of the new year that i can focus on throughout the year as an area of growth for me. This year i pondered many words: bliss, patience, waiting, hope, pause, savor, hospitality. But as i asked God to confirm a word, He gave me HUMILITY.... my advent prayer had been "birth something new in me this season...something radical." This is the word that shimmered... the word humility has a depth to it that begs to be explored, entered into. Right off the top of my head, it means embracing my imperfections and limitations, recognizing my neediness and being honest about how much i need to rely on God and not "do it myself."  As a "2" on the enneagram my vice or signature sin is pride... my virtue or way home to my true self is humility...so this is a fit for me.

As i wondered more about the deeper meaning of this word, i found what William Barclay had to say in his commentary on Ephesians 4:1-3 insightful.
"Humility comes through self-awareness, facing ourselves and seeing our weaknesses, selfishness, failure in work and personal relationships, our unworthiness. Christian humility comes from setting our life beside the life of Christ and in the light of the demands of God. Recognizing our utter dependence on God. Praus is the Greek word: always angry at the right time but never angry at the wrong time. One who is stirred by indignation at the wrongs and sufferings of others but is never moved to anger by any personal wrongs or insults... meek. Additionally it means an animal trained and domesticated until its every instinct and passion is under perfect control (of its master.) { Like a wild stallion who is "broken" so that it now is able to be useful in service to its master at the slightest touch of his finger on the reigns. my thoughts}   

It also means bearing insult and injury without bitterness and without complaint. The spirit which can suffer unpleasant people with graciousness and fools without irritation. Perfect patience, forbearance.

Whoa... looks like God knows i need to work on this word because there isn't much of this in me presently. I know i will never be able to accomplish this on my own, it will take deep dependence on Him to yield to His molding of my character in this way. God help me!!!!